Fight Back Friday and The Vanilla Conspiracy

by Michelle on May 8, 2009


I am so tired of flavoring everything with vanilla. Looking back over the years, I’ve used jugs of the stuff. I’ve tried the popular and exotic varieties Mexican, Madagascar and Tahitian. And I even tried the natural route with scraping vanilla beans, grinding vanilla beans and even making my own vanilla. Frankly I can’t tell the difference any more. It’s all just plain vanilla to me.

Lately I’m finding some recipes calling for 2 tsp upwards to 1 TBL vanilla. And it does not stop with just baking, there’s vanilla body cream, vanilla lotion, vanilla flavored lip gloss and vanilla scented candles! I guess if we do not ingest enough vanilla, we can now absorb it through our skin too? But when I discovered Vanilla Salt, it all began to make sense.

Is OVEC (Organization of Vanilla Exporting Countries) controlling this substance, increasing the varieties and potency until we are all addicted and dependent? Is Area 51 really a hydroponic vanilla farm? Could vanilla be the intricate thread that weaves a One World Government? Is the Catholic Church involved? The Masons? Maybe Martha? What’s the significance of the mysterious “V” on the one dollar bill?

Well, I’m not going to be fooled any longer and I’m standing up and just saying NO to vanilla! It’s time to start the weaning process and try something new! And I’m pretty sure you have some wonderful possibilities within arm’s reach in your own kitchen.

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Comments

  • caren May 8, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    I choked on my non-vanilla granola bar laughing so hard while reading your blog! The only vanilla flavored food I like is yogurt!

    The worse is the vanilla scented body lotions – you smell like a cake!

  • Leigh of Bloggeritaville May 8, 2009 at 6:54 pm

    This cracked me up!

  • Kelly May 8, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    OMG, that is HIGHlarious!

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